Hootenany!

Happy New Years boys and girls! Here we are - 2010! Sounds almost 'space age' doesn't it? Did you have a good time? Did you get crazy and wild and naked? (I don't why, dear reader, but I imagine you to be somewhat of a slut.)

Well, I suppose it's that time of year, bloated and partied out, where we should reflect on what was and what's to come. I tried to do this while I was at work the other day (shamefully the highlight of mind-numbingly boring day) and my mind went blank. Oh my! What HAVE I done with my year? What life-changing events occurred? What I do to benefit the world? My family? My friends? Me?!

I scratched my head, and then my chin, and then my head again possibly looking like I had some sort of weird affliction. I was stumped. I couldn't remember what I actually achieved, let alone what I set out to do at the beginning of 2009. And then I came across a simple bit of paper I wrote just over a year ago. While I was sat at an equally boring desk at work in December 2008 I wrote my New Years Resolutions, 'From 2008 Jenni to 2009 Jenni'.

Shall we see how well I did?

1. Lose Weight

Ah! A classic! How terribly predictable of me. With a little help from my friend Claire-from-Steps I did actually manage to achieve this one. At one point I'd lost a rather surprising 5 inches from around my tyre of a tummy. This has slightly changed since the season of goodwill (and Jack Daniels and cake and chocolate) but I'm pleased to say there's less of me now than there was last year. When I look in the mirror I find this hard to believe, but just one flick through my Facebook photographs and it all comes flashing back. What I've found quite fun is to flick between my chubbier self and now and back again. It's like watching me inflate and deflate at a push of a button.

2. Watch 'must-see' films I've never got around to watching

I've watched about ten films this year. Among these were 500 Days of Summer (a slushy indie romance about a weedy boy and an irritating girl), Up (a children's film. I love this), Four Christmasses (the most awful unfunny comedy ever) and The Hangover (on the way to Las Vegas - what better way?) These may have been enjoyable but they're hardly classics, are they? I imagined myself holding my weight with the film-buff friends, discussing names like Burton and Hitchcock and... you know, the other one. I did try to watch Gone with the Wind but I'd been for quite a long walk before hand and fell asleep during the opening titles.

3. Read all the books I've bought but never read

This didn't happen either. I actually bought about eight more books, been given four and loaned three. I've read about three books this year - two autobiographies and a self-help book on fear of flying. E-. Must try harder. See me after class. To take reading lessons.

4. Spend less time on Facebook

'Jenni must spend less time on Facebook...' would make a great status, wouldn't it? Oh. Erm... well. I REALLY tried on this one.

5. Remember everybody's birthday

Ooh! Good! Yes, one I achieved. I bought myself a diary. I wrote down everyone's name in the diary. I looked at the diary. I wished people Happy Birthday whose birthday it was on the day I was looking at. Hoorah! One point to Jenni. No points to the... erm, New Years Resolution... breaker. Master.

6. Look less scruffy

Friends of mine who read this will probably spit out their drink of choice to laugh heartily at the fact that my hair is still massive and I often spill food down myself. BUT I have purchased several pairs of heels, have started to brush my hair at least three times a week and have bought make up brushes. You're impressed aren't you? I can tell.

7. Sort out my finances

If the hair brushing thing didn't turn you on, this certainly will - I have an ISA. Oh yes boys, I have internet banking! I don't receive letters which start 'final warning' and I DON'T have a minus sign in front on my balance. It turns out I actually enjoy being boringly organised and not making rash purchases. I have an internal monologue now which says, 'Jenni do you NEED a Margaret Thatcher nut cracker?' You want me now, right?

8. Have a holiday

Aye, I did. I went to Fabulous Las Vegas! It was my first holiday abroad for about three years and boy did I need it. I loved speaking to strangers and them telling me how sexy my accent was (although one said I sounded like the Queen. Maybe that floats their boats?), I loved not having to wear three layers and thermals when leaving my room and I LOVED being drunk at midday, eating till I burst and gambling away all the money in my ISA. It turns out reality is a bit rubbish in comparison!

9. Move back to London

Well I'm writing this from my bed in the West Country - you do the maths. (If you're bad at maths, or geography, no I didn't move back). But me and my family are planning a move back this year. For deffo, y'all. Oh yes, the fresh air has been nice and seeing animals in fields rather than on plates has been swell. But it turns out the country is a bit boring. And by a bit, I mean very. And that's fine. For a weekend. But a year on and I'd like to quote Dylan Moran; 'getting murdered is more likely in the city. But so is sex, coffee and conversation'.

10. Spend vast amounts of time with my friends and family

I'm pleased to say this I definitely did achieve. I've down to Brighton and up to Derby, across to London and powered through to Middlesex. I spent a week abroad with my family and I can't wait to spend every waking moment with my most loved in 2010.

I think this year the key to achieving ALL my New Years Resolutions is to have less of them. So please see my revised list.

1. Lose MORE weight
2. Learn a new skill (website design, driving, riding a bike)
3. Go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival again
4. READ. MORE. BOOKS.
5. Be less reserved, less self conscious and more self assured.

Happy New Years and here's to a fabulous 2010!